Friday 1 April 2016

1/4/16 My Monologues & Musings : “.... It is the Lord! ...” ( Jn 21:7)

1/4/16 My Monologues & Musings :
“.... It is the Lord! ...” ( Jn 21:7)

Musings of Simon Peter…..
“Oh, No!
How blind have I been!
How come that I couldn't recognise my  Lord?
Have I blocked him of my mind and my memory?
How I could?
Am I in denial?
Just a week or so ago,
I did deliberately deny him?
Didn't I?
Not once, but thrice?
I did deny him despite the clear warning given to me by my Lord, Didn't I?
I did deny him at a time when he  really needed my support.
I disowned him to protect myself?
Just because I was afraid of being caught.

Oh, My Master and My Lord,
Despite all my unfaithfulness and my fears,
You still keep loving me.
And even more so,
You keep seeking and asking the reassurance of my love for you,
Don't You, My Master and My Lord?

Yes, it's true, Lord.
There is equally another part of me:
Who loves you.
Who repents over my follies.
Who weeps over my denials.
You know me through and you,
Don’t You?
You know the Simon who loves you,
Don't You?
You know the Simon who disowns you,
Don't You?
You know the Simon who wavers,
Don't You?
You know the Simon who is outspoken,
Don't You?
You know the Simon who feels terribly bad, who repents, and who weeps,
Don’t You?
Oh, My Master and My Lord,
It makes me really humble:
Despite knowing my brokenness,
You still love me.
And you still want my love!
Thank you,
My Risen Lord and My Master!
A Million Thanks!”

Dear Simon Peter,
The Fallen and the Failed Disciple,
Thank you for the musings from the innermost core of your Being!
I am worse than you in denying the Lord.
I have denied him and disowned him tens of thousands times.
There is also a small part in me who repents and resolves to do better.
But then I find myself failing again!
That's me!
Dear Jesus, my Risen Lord,
Thank you for continuing to keep forgiving me!
Thank you for inspiring me to keep trying!
Thank you for seeking and asking for my love for you!
I will and I shall keep trying to love you,
despite my repeated failings and falling!

Dear Jesus,
I bring before you:
Everyone of my loved ones.
Everyone of my enemies who were and are.
Everyone who loves as well as hates me.
Everyone whom I love and whom i hate.
Everyone who helps me and who don't.
Everyone whom i have lead astray.
Everyone who is sick and needs healing.
Everyone who is in despair and needs hope.
Every priest who is in need of prayers.
Everyone who has met with me!

Oh, Jesus, My Lord and My God,
I thank You,
I thank the Father,
I thank the Spirit,
For Your Unsolicited gift of life for me!
For Your Uncountable blessings for me!
For Your Unlimited Patience with me!
For Your Untold Forgiveness for me!
For Your Unflinching faith in me!
For Your Unfailing Hope in me!
For Your Unconditional Love of me!
Amen
JoAchen
Friday, 1st April 2016

These Reflections are neither pure scientific exegesis nor are they any highly theological explanations. They are a sort of devotional musings and monologues mainly meant for my personal renewal and spiritual growth. They are a part of my journaling as a Prodigal Priest trying to make my pilgrimage back to the Home of our Heavenly Father. As I keep holding you in my prayers and I request you to include me in yours. Thank you! 

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