Wednesday 13 April 2016

13/4/16 My Monologues & Musings : The Healed Leper

13/4/16 My Monologues & Musings : The Healed Leper  

“When he came down from the mountain, great crowds followed him; 2 and behold, a leper came to him and knelt before him, saying, "Lord, if you will, you can make me clean."  3 And he stretched out his hand and touched him, saying, "I will; be clean." And immediately his leprosy was cleansed.  4 And Jesus said to him, "See that you say nothing to anyone; but go, show yourself to the priest, and offer the gift that Moses commanded, for a proof to the people."(Mt 8:1-4)

Musings of the Healed Leper ….
“It has been many years since I really felt happy and relaxed. 
Ever since I had contracted this dreadful and detesting disease I could hardly laugh. 
It was the social stigma attached to this disease which pained me more than the disease itself. 
I was an untouchable. 
I was an outcast.
I was treated as unclean.
I was isolated and boycotted.
I was considered to be bearing the brunt of my own sins  the sins of my ancestors!!!!!

I just couldn’t understand! 
So I kept asking..questioning! !
Oh, Mighty Yahweh, My God,
Why on earth have you done this to me?
What have I done so bad that you have punished with such a terrible sickness? 
I am no saint.
But at the same time, except for the occasional breaking Your  Commandments, I honestly can't  recall doing anything so heinous a sin that I am punished so severely? 
Besides, there are so many others who have been perpetrating evil even before I was born.
And they seem to thrive!
I just don't understand!
Well, who am I to question you? …
I kept on juggling with these and similar thoughts for quite a while!
…  …
Then a kind of a sad silence began to creep in me which gradually grounded me on to bouts of suicidal depression !!
In the meantime, my parents and the rest of the family kept on taking me to different country physicians, holy men, as well as Venerable Rabbis.
But of no use.
In fact it was becoming worse.. 
Wounds started  to fester.. oozing out pus awith the stench of rotten flesh!
I was  pronounced a leper and was deported to isolation camps of similar people. 
We were quarantined! 
Years of pain, anguish, anger, depression inched away!
Slowly the once festering began to dry up..
But my fingers and toes began to be deformed!
Since the festering wounds had dried up with no more stench coming out we were let free.. 
So I wandered around aimlessly! 
I wanted to live..
I wanted get healed!
Everyday i dreamed of getting healed.
Went around Shrines praying!
People began to give me food… clothes and money etc.
I kept on dreaming getting healed!
I had heard about  miracles performed by a certain Young Rabbi called Jesus.
Some thought of him Divine.. the Messiah!
Anyhow his compassion and caring approach was the talk among the ordinary folks.
I wished often: I had met him!
It so happened!
I heard him passing by the village.
I rushed ..pushed the crowd. .
Managed to be nearer to him.
I did call out:
"Lord, if you will, you can make me clean."  And he stretched out his hand and touched him, saying, 
"I will; be clean" 
And i am healed!
I couldn't believe my eyes!
Oh, No!  
My Yahweh hasn't abandoned me!
Great is Your Name!”

Oh, Healed Brother,
Thank you for sharing your Musings. 
You had been through alot, right?
I do admire you :
for your sheer frankness, 
for your enduring patience,
for your indomitable perseverence,
for your Unflinching faith.

Dear Jesus, the Risen Lord, 
You do always want me to be clean, Don’t You?
Provided I approach you with an earnest request.
It's me who do not often come to you with an earnest desire and with an honest request.
It looks like that at times I don't like to be healed.
I am ashamed of my dislike to get healed.
In those situations do force me to face You
So that you are able to heal me!
Do it Lord, Do it!

Dear Jesus, the Risen Lord,
I bring before you:
Everyone of my loved ones.
Everyone of my enemies who were and are.
Everyone who loves as well as hates me.
Everyone whom I love and whom i hate.
Everyone who helps me and who don't.
Everyone whom i have lead astray.
Everyone who is sick and needs healing.
Everyone who is in despair and needs hope.
Every priest who is in need of prayers.
Everyone who has met with me!

Oh, Jesus, My Lord and My God,

I thank You,
I thank the Father,
I thank the Spirit,
For Your Unsolicited gift of life for me!
For Your Uncountable blessings for me!
For Your Unlimited Patience with me!
For Your Untold Forgiveness for me!
For Your Unflinching faith in me!
For Your Unfailing Hope in me!
For Your Unconditional Love of me!
Amen
JoAchen
Joachenmonologues@gmail.com
Wednesday, 13th April 2016

These Reflections are neither pure scientific exegesis nor are they any highly theological explanations. They are a sort of devotional musings and monologues mainly meant for my personal renewal and spiritual growth. They are a part of my journaling….
I am a near seventy year old Pallottine priest from India. I consider myself to be a "prodigal priest in process," trying to make my pilgrimage back to the Home of the Heavenly Father guided by His Son and the Holy Spirit, aided by the Blessed Mother and St. Joseph, and inspired by Thomas the Apostle and by Vincenzo Pallotti, "the apostle of Rome." Despite my academic studies in Indian Philosophy (India), Sacred Scriptures(Rome), Psychology (USA) and Teaching and Parish Ministries at home and abroad, I have yet to do a lot more and work on myself much more for my spiritual growth and personal maturity. As I lag behind, I strongly feel the urge and need to grow spiritually and wholistically. I need to start almost every day anew. I keep on counting the innumerable blessings which the Lord keeps showering on me for the last near seventy years and I keep on recounting my manifold sins and failures with a contrite heart.Trying out a semi-secluded way of life, I find myself perched on a Hilltop Shrine. Dear Reader, I keep holding you in my daily prayers and request you to do the same for me.Thank you!

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