My Monologues 11
My Monologues with the Samaritan sister (Jn. 4)
You could have been a bit more polite to him, couldn't you? After all, all that he wanted was a drink of water to quench his thirst, right?
He just asked you for it, that's all!
He didn't insist on you giving it, did he?
He didn't force you to give it, did he?
He didn't insult you for not giving it, did he?
Neither he got angry with you nor he hurt you in any way.
Then why were you so curt and crude with him?
Agreed, there was a Rabbinical Law forbidding a stranger, especially a Rabbi, to engage in public conversationan with an unfamiliar woman.
Agreed, he blatantly broke it.
But you could have been a bit more gentle or human towards him. Remember, all that he wanted was a drink of water, right?
Dear sister, for sure, you are very intelligent and smart, outgoing and aggressive. As soon as you saw him and he asked you for a drink, you seemed to have rightly seized him up a Jew. You were also aware of the age old hostility between the Jews and the Samaritans, the two sister communities. As you knew your ancestral history, the Assyrians conquered and colonised Samaria, your homeland, and and forced your ancestors into intermarriage. Thus the purity of the Jewish blood was contaminated. Ever since, your Jewish brotheren from Judea looked down upon you as defiled Jews with blemished blood, right? To make it worse, you had your own Centre of Worship on Mount Girizim. Thus you were held in contempt as heretics As well as half Jews. Yes, there was no love lost between the two of you. As you hinted rightly, you were not even on talking terms.
But, my sister, is it only the ancestral rivalry that prompted you to refuse him water?
Or, is there something more to it?
My Samaritans sister, did you feel threatened by him because he was also a Male? Why were you so instinctively disgusted with him? Were you wary of him as a male? Were you afraid that, he, yet another male, would hurt you?
Dear sister, it seems the relationships you have had with males were real bad and hurting, right? The relationships between you and men couldn't be kept steady. That's why, you have had five failed relationships, isn't so? I wonder how long your present relationship, the sixth one, would last!
Please, don't get me wrong, my sister! I am not trying to bash you, not even for a second!
Being a male, myself, you would be all the more tempted to be prejudiced against me too! Besides, all along, I have been harsh on you. I shall try to see it from your perspective as well.
Believe me! my sister, I have no intention whatsoever either to belittle you or to find fault with you!
On the other hand, it begins to dawn on me that you are a victim of male abuse! You have been deeply wounded by adult males, right?
Dear sister, you must have been a pretty beautiful female indeed! If not, men wouldn't desire to have you and to come after you!
But they coveted you..they had you..they used you..just for the carnal pleasure of it, right?
Yet, they hardly made you real happy, isn't it? If the First Male with whom you lived, had he made you real accepted and happy, for sure, you wouldn't have and you couldn't have left him for a Second Man...then for a Third, for a Fourth, for a Fifth and for a Sixth Man, right, my sister?
Those men used you, your body, and your beauty. They abused you. But none of them really cared for you and made you feel happy and accepted. All that they wanted was to use you as an object of pleasure, right, my sister?
A sort of: Use and Throw style!
Now you are with the Sixth Man, probably, not because you are really happy with him. But because, you have no other choice! Unlike our times, it would have been not at all safe and easy for a pretty woman like you to live alone, as men would have pestered you, they would have been after you and would have harassed you, right?
My dear sister, I guess you just got unfortunately addicted to such abusive relationships on account of your past painful victimisation. You seem to have become a co-dependent, right? While, you were insatiably thirsting for the intimacy of a loving conjugal relationship, you ended up in the arms of men who were lustfully hungering after your body, right?
Dear sister, a good many of us, including myself, in our search to quench our hunger and thirst for loving intimacy of friendships and relationships, we end up wallowing in food, drink, drugs, sex, power and pelf etc., isn't so?
This toxic addiction, in many of the above mentioned ways, keeps on happening in us and in the world around us. Sad indeed!
My sister, in one way other:
It has happend to me too!
I had been a victim of a couple of addictions.
I still suffer from sporadic attacks of the addictions to prejudice, to "I am not like this publican attitude", addictions to attention-craving and addictions toambition seeking.
That's me.... many a times!!!
The happy side is: we have the power to opt out of our toxic shame. It makes us even happier to know there is a very powerful and very effective helper who is round the clock ready and willing to come over even to any Way-side Well, right?
Now coming back to you at Well Side: The women in in your village seemed to have distanced themselves from you. These women seemed to have boycotted your company, isn't so? They seemed to have looked down upon you as a bad woman of ill repute, a dangerous woman who kept sleeping with men after men! That might explain why You came to.the well at noon time, when hardly any woman would venture out to fetch water. Usually women go in groups to draw and fetch water and they go either in the evening or earlyin the morning to avoid the hot sun. But you came alone to the well at noon time. You seem to have no female friends. I guess financially you were not that well placed or else you could have a paid helper, right? Probably, you had to come alone and at noon, just to survive, right? How a lonesome life have You been living!
Though I am beginning to feel with you and with the loneliness you have been living through, I cannot and no one ever can, fully feel your pain, your antagonizing attraction- aversion to the males.
No wonder, you felt hostile, when that healthy and young Jew started asking you you for a drink of water! You were certain that he cared little for the cultural traditions about male-female interactions. You seemed to have suspected his motives, right? You might have thought to yourself, oh, all these men are of the same make. You might have felt threatened by his mere presence, isn't it? No one ever can blame you, my sister!
So when you refused his simple request for a drink to slake his thirst, it was your painful past that was in play. Your dehumanising experiences with adult males compelled you to react so arrogantly, right?
My sister, you have been used and abused by males and t left in the lurch.
On the one hand you were abused by the males while on the other hand you were abhorred by females! It is beginning to dawn on me the depth of your loneliness in the midst of a village crowed. Dear sister as I see your pathetic situation, I feel with you and for you. When I started out I was angry with you for being so rude to the Rabbi who asked you for a drink of water. Now my anger begins to give way to a better and compassionate understanding of yourself.
The fact is: I am able to identify a part of myself with you. A part of me is just like you. Many a times, like you, I have been reacting instantly. I have reacted aggressively to certain types of people, even in unprovoked situations. Because, they some how remind me of my past pain-filled experiences! The more I reflect on you, my own aggravated feelings of being abandoned, feelings of being yelled at, feelings of being trampled upon, feelings of being exploited keep popping up. They keep getting activated in me.
I confess:
often enough, I h ave been a prisoner of such behavioral patterns. Dear sister, your painful experiences do help me to get in touch with my own.
Thank you!
Just like you, I have been prejudiced towards others on account of the painful experiences I have had from my significant others. Often enough, I have perceived them to be unjust to me. I have been wary of them. Later it did dwan on me it was mostly my own behaviors which landed me in such a predicament. I have been collecting and carrying a heavy baggage. I take them along wherever I go. They have kept hampering me. As result it became increasingly difficult for me to keep up healthy and enduring relationships with others. Many a times, I have been hostile in my approach to people who remind me of my past hurts. My sister, you have been a great help to me, once again, to see myself clearly.
Thank you!
Oh, my sister, I admire the way you changed and grew! You were on a slippery slope heading towards the perilous pit! But from the moment you met the "Jew" at the well, your race to ruin got arrested, right? As you began to understand him and his intentions correctly, you began to address him differently.
Remember, my sister, you started out to address him with a tone of contempt,
"You, a Jew".
As you began to understand him further, you addressed him with a reverential,
"Sir".
Then you went on address him,
"a prophet"
Finally you began to recognise and proclaim him as:
"Messiah"
Thus you became totally free from prejudice.
It might be that after a long, long time your thirst was quenched, your thirst for genuine unconditional male acceptance unattached with any sexual exploitation, right, my sister?
Oh, my sister,
How I wish! I could get myself out of the prison of my prejudices and pain-filled experiences of the past.
How I wish!
I could leave my baggage behind and start growing!
How I wish!
I could put a stop to my descent to destruction and I could begin my ascent to growth!
Ever since my novitiate years, my personal and spiritual growth has been a bare minimum indeed! Even at the age of sixty eight plus, how often I am stuck and fixated! I want to meet the Messiah at Well, not once, but everyday of my life and to start everyday anew.
Jesus, help me grow like my Samaritan sister! I want to. In a sense, you have been ever ready to help me with your immense patience. But it's me who has not been aware of it and has not made a better use of your immense patience with me. If I have not grown enough,
It's Mea Culpa!
Dear sister,
You came to Well to fetch water as an isolated lonely female.
You came to the Well as a habitually abused female.
You came to the Well as an abandoned by the other females in your village.
But after meeting the Messiah at the Well you headed back to your village as a happy, free and a changed person. In your excitement, you even left your pitcher behind you, right? You seemed to be thirsty no more as you got the taste of the Life-giving water.
Great indeed!
When you went back to village and told everything that had happened and when you told them that he might be the Messiah, you became the first ever Evangelist and the first ever Missionary to announce the Good News to your fellow sisters and brothers of your village-community. You brought them to Jesus the Messiah. You, indeed, are a true missionary and a mediator!
After four or so years, when Philip, one of those seven decons, came to preach Good News to the Samaritans, I am sure, you were there proudly to recollect and recount your encounter with the Messiah by the Well, right?
Dear sister, I am envious of you and your remarkable turn-around. And I feel angry with myself as I am unable to grow as you did! The speed with which you began to grow amazes me!
Me too want to meet My Messiah by Well Side, not once, many times, everyday of my life. I want to meet him by the Well of interpersonal relationships so that I start growing and growing rapidly as I am in the last leg of my life.I want meet him by the Well so that I can be nourished by the Lifegiving Living Water.
Dear sister, I would like to spend some time with you in silence. Do share with me about y our life after meeting the Lord.
.Dear Jesus, I want to learn from you.
You were not provoked by her rude reactions.
You kept your cool!
You could have given her mouthful, reminding her of her past! And thus You could have made her feel ashamed and quiet.
Though all along you knew her background,
You never brought it up,
You never used it to put her down.
You never held her in contempt.
You neither demonized her nor punished her. On the other hand, you helped her and prepared her to reveal herself!
She made the Confession of her life.
She laid bare her way of life before you.
You bowled her over by quenching her thirst for unconditional male acceptance and offering the Life giving Living Water, right?
Dear sister, you met Jesus Jesus and your old ways melted away! Do keep inspiring me thaty old ways melt away in the presence of the very same Messiah.
Oh, Jesus my Messiah, whenever I feel provoked, I keep giving back a mouthful. I keep putting people down. I keep bringing up their past failures and I keep making them feel ashamed. I keep getting even.
Jesus, my Messiah, I want to stop these mutually destructive way ward ways of mine.
Oh, dear Disciples, why were those frowns on your foreheads? Your puckered face, your furrowed foreheads and your staring eyes raise a few questions. Did you ever suspect the motives of your Master? I don't know! it might be that you suspected of her motives of talking to your Master and you might have heard of her past. Were you annoyed because of the temerity of this woman to talk with your Master? Were you afraid that she would have led your Master astray? Or you might have thought as how could your Master be so naive? I don't know!
But one thing I know, for sure, is:
often enough, I have been like you,
dear disciples! many a times, I have been suspicious of everyone. I have even been paranoid at times! How frivolous and filthy my mind has been!
Jesus, My Messiah, you must have been pained by the suspicious and biased reactions of your disciples.
They, who have been with you all along, they seemed to have thought of you the worst!
They who have listened to you all along, the very same bunch seemed to have imagined the wildest!
They who have witnessed your miracles painted themselves very nasty indeed! In spite of all, you were patient with them as well, just as you have been patient with her.You gave your disciples time to grow out of their prejudices, right?
Jesus, my Messiah,
I confess!
I have frowned several times upon others. I have suspected the motives of many and I have even had the nastiest thoughts about them! often I have had a sick mind indeed!
Jesus, my Messiah, your disciples keep reminding me a part of myself! Continue to keep show g the similar patience with me! Thank you, Jesus, for waiting and keep waiting to see me grow up.
Jesus, my Messiah, thank you for being patient with me so far! You have been patient with me more than seven times seventy times seven times!
Thank you!
Jesus, my Messiah, though your disciples were with you so long, they didn't grow much!
While she who met you only a while ago, had grown and even out grown them by leaps and bounds.
What an irony!
I am yet another example of the very same irony!
Jesus, my Messiah, like your disciples, I have been with you and serving you and your people as a priest for so long, but without much of a personal growth for myself! Often I have been just a functioning priest!
I wonder:
Why have I been very functional?
for making a name for myself?
for getting into the good books of superiors? for securing better prospects and promotions?
Any way, sadly,my growth has been rather slow or even stunt at times!
Jesus, my Messiah, like your disciples, I have not had the full use of my association with you.
I have achieved academic degrees!
I have collected lots and lots of informations. I have talked and taught.
I have travelled far and wide.
I have made pilgrimages to Holy Places.
Yet, as far as my personal spiritual growth is concerned, it has been very, very, slow indeed, very minimal Indeed!
Jesus, my Messiah,
Thank you for being patient with me for the last sixtyeight plus years of my life!
Thank you for being patient with my slow growth, for my lukewarm nature, and foe my tepid ity!
Please do spit me out!
Jesus, Messiah,
I want to grow like my Samaritan sister. I want to meet you everyday of my life by the Well Side. I want to start growing like her, if not by leaps and bounds, at least grow gradually!
Jesus, My Messiah,
I know for certain, that you want me to grow up. It makes me happy to know that you are ever ready to keep waiting for me. I know you have been waiting everyday for me by the Well.
It is me who is yet reach the Well!
Jesus, my Messiah,
I shall read the Well sooner than later.
Jesus, My Messiah,
PS
The thought that you are ever ready to wait for me makes me happy! It 's a sure sign that you keep loving me. It energizes me to keep rushing to the Well as often as I need to.
Jesus, my Messiah,
Thank you for your enduring and unconditional love for me.
Thank you!
Jesus, my Messiah,
I would like to spend some time in silence in your presence...
"Speak to me Lord, your servant is listening! "
Amen
JoAchen
Sunday, September 28, 2014
These Reflections are neither pure scientific exegetical interpretations nor highly theological explanations. These are my devotional meditations mainly meant for my personal renewal and spiritual growth. As I keep holding you in my daily prayers, I request you to do the same for me.
Thank you!
